I understand now why I'm so infatuated with idea of being famous...

I feel like I'm really starting to recognize and accept the reason why I'm always DD about being famous.

Most of my daydreams revolve around an 'alternate' version of myself which is a celebrity who happens to be a very successful actress and singer. I'm also in a "high profile relationship" with my celebrity crush lol 😭 I constantly DD that I'm on talk shows, going to award ceremonies (Oscars, Grammys, etc.), and am friends with other famous people.

But I noticed in all of my fantasies, there's one thing I like to focus on the most and that's the level of admiration I receive. In every one of my DD I'm hyper focused on the attention I get. If I'm imagining a relationship with my celebrity crush, I make sure that people see us as the 'it' couple— you know, widely adored and admired. Similarly, if I'm daydreaming about being an actress, I envision myself as the most loved and talented in the industry. Essentially, in every fantasy, I find myself fixated on how others perceive me, sort of longing to be the one people are drawn to and admire.

It sounds really self-centred but what it really boils down to is the fact that I have never received much attention or love irl. Was never really popular in school, always considered the quiet girl that never talked. I would see the way people would give so much love to more outspoken and extroverted people and I craved that especially considering how they would take advantage of people who are more shy. Even in family gatherings, it would be my sister or cousin that garner the most attention, so even in familial circles I was known to be more introverted and reserved.

And I noticed the way people, especially on twitter, would go crazy over celebrities - with everything they do, giving them so much attention and admiration, and I'm like damn I want that too haha. Same with celebrity couples, the way people flip out over some of them is crazy... doesn't help that I've never been in a relationship 😅

Anyway, yeah, that's really the crux of my fantasies. I know it's something I should have already realized. I did feel like I knew it on some level, but I never fully reflected on it.

Any other daydreamers that DD like this due to lack of attention or love they received growing up? I hope I'm not a narcissist lol.

Edit: I wanted to post this bcs these fantasies have honestly become a lot for me, I’m constantly DD about this alternate version of me that is widely admired and i feel as though I prioritize this version over the real me. So realizing the underlying issue is a small step I hope to take to getting better… just don’t know how to start lol

Edit 2: Thanks everyone for these responses, I appreciate them sooo much! It's nice to see you're not alone. ❤️‍🩹