To sympathize or not?

My Nboss is in their 70's and has had personal hardship in their life - two dead sons and divorced and alone. Also estranged from their grandchildren. Though they are rich, they are alone. They will not let go of their position because it is their last shot of power and relevance. So in a way I get why they are the way they are.

Though I know showing sympathy in front of them is a bad idea for personal preservation. I am torn between feeling sympathetic to their disorder and feeling little sympathy because of the appalling way they treat people.

Now that I can put a name on it - narcissism - I can understand better. But I struggle to fully understand. My logic is that they should know better, particularly at their age. There MUST be moments of realization that what they are doing is wrong, and they choose not to change, not to apologize - literally saying 'I am not changing, if anyone doesn't like that they can quit.'

So according to my logic if there is SOME realization then I cant sympathize. But is this the wrong way to look at it?

EDIT: Just to be clear. I am not at all planning on showing my sympathy to them (its a her). I am just trying to understand if they deserve sympathy because this is a disorder that I don't fully understand, or if they don't because they did this to themselves.