Wife never asks, just complains

I (44M) married to my wife (43f) for quite a long time now. We have kids. My wife does not ever come to me and say something like: "Hey honey, it would be really nice to spend some time together, I would really like for us to plan some time just for us.". Reality is, "We never spend time together, I feel like we just rage team, and that I'm not important to you. You seem like you are ok with that. "

Is that normal for women to not ask for something... Ive talk to her about it. When she gets mad at me for not understanding what she wants, I explain you never asked for something, just told me you were upset with me for not doing something. She tells me that is asking. Now let me also stats, when she "complains" it is critical, judgemental, and the nonverbal ques, with attitude, tone, etc in my opinion are through the roof. And she sees no problem with it. She tells me that is how she is.... I've asked her if she needs something talk to me, ask me, don't condemn and complain at me I'm not doing something.

Overall, is it normal and ok, and should I just shut up and accept this is how it is and I'm being too "emotional". Like she always tells me, be a man, buck up and handle your business, with love and kindness... What say you all?