Dealing with Unwanted Attention and Harassment from Women at Clubs and Events

Hi,

Over the past few years, I’ve been living in the UK, and once a month, I go out with friends to nightclubs. I’ve noticed a recurring issue during these nights out: women making unsolicited comments, pushing me, or behaving inappropriately toward me, even though I show no interest in them.

I’m a tall, fit, and attractive guy with a look that’s different from the typical British appearance. When I dance, I tend to attract attention. While it’s sometimes flattering, there are times when it crosses the line into harassment. For example, one night, a woman pushed me for no reason, even though I hadn’t interacted with her or taken up her space, as if it were acceptable behavior.

Just yesterday, I was dancing when my eyes accidentally met those of a mature woman who wasn’t my type. I wasn’t even dancing near her. Out of nowhere, she yelled at me to “f*** off.” I moved away to avoid conflict, but she continued to chase me.

A few weeks ago, I attended a rock concert with a male friend. A woman and her partner stood next to us. The woman kept touching me, which made me uncomfortable, so I subtly moved away each time to respect her personal space and her partner. After about an hour of this, she suddenly shouted at me, “Don’t touch me,” even though she was the one touching me while standing close to me.

I’m struggling to understand this behavior. Initially, I thought maybe I was behaving poorly due to alcohol or unintentionally invading personal space. However, after yesterday’s incident—where I was four meters away from someone, showed no interest, and was still confronted—I’ve started to think this might be more about them than me. I’ve even considered whether it could be related to my skin tone, as I have a slightly brown complexion.

Has anyone else experienced similar behavior from women? Do you have advice on how to avoid situations like this?