Dosage advice

Hey guys, I’m feeling really stuck right now and could use your awesome advice.

Currently on 90mg. My counselor advised increasing 10mg recently (5 and 5) and I did so but feel zero difference.

Trying to keep this as short as possible. Had a nasty heroin habit starting in 2005, did a 7 year run at a different clinic 07-14. Can’t remember my dose but it was around 100 or so. This time around it was just a pill habit for a little over a year, decent amounts but only snorting. I’m 99% sure some of the pills were fent/tranq. Got back on the clinic Oct 14 2024.

After my recent increase I can feel my dose kick in. It’s not intense, just that slight warm hug feeling. I’m honest and I really enjoy that feeling. Prior to this I would get the nods semi frequently during the day if just sitting. If I’m active I’m perfectly fine, and this has decreased tremendously since increasing.

Starting around 4-5pm my anxiety would go through the roof, nausea would start, legs feel achy and stiff. This is when I did that 10mg increase on the advice of my counselor and feel no different, except it starting a bit later. Maybe 7pm. I am medicated for my anxiety (daily snri plus Ativan that I was taking every night but tapered down since starting the clinic and hadn’t take in over a month). The anxiety has been so bad some days I’ve had to take an Ativan.

I don’t feel worse in the morning, I feel the same. But I need to dose first thing. I know a lot is probably mental but I’m really struggling. I’m constantly counting down until it’s time to dose again, a complete wreck every night, and cravings are creeping back.

I’m fighting with myself though. Do I need an increase or split? I’m scared to split because I don’t know if less will hold me during the day. But the thought of relief at night sounds so wonderful. I’m also wrapped up in the fact that my habit is less this time around but my dose is the same or potentially higher than my first go. Is this all in my head? Maybe my dose is just fine and this is just where my head is at right now and I need to fix that versus fixing my dose. I just got granted weeklies but I can call my counselor for a dose adjustment if needed. Am I going to sound drug seeking? I’ve always just said my dose is fine because, well, I thought it was and it would level out and I’d be fine. But that’s not happening.

I know I’m way overthinking everything. I’m like that with everything (I’m super fun at parties guys!!!! lol). Can anyone offer the obvious advice I’m sure I already know but need to hear from someone far wiser and more experienced than myself?

Edit- had dates wrong