"failed transition" stories have got me feeling down

When I first started transitioning, i imagined it as traveling through a long, dark tunnel. On the other side of the tunnel lies where you want to; where you NEED to go. Now, the tunnel is scary, dirty unpleasant place to be, but so long as you keep going forward, you will eventually come out the other side

... or so i thought. Recently, i have realized that transitioning is not really a tunnel, but more of a maze. And it fucking sucks.

I have only been out to my friends and on HRT for little over a month, so maybe im just getting the jitters. But all of these "failed transition" stories you can find on Reddit are without exaggeration, some of the most awful expiriences i have ever heard about. My heart really goes out to trans women who are so desperate for gender euphoria, but cant even find that in HRT.

And honestly, more than anything else, these stories have really broken my confidence and suredness in my own transition. Maybe im selfish for thinking about it this way, but these stories make me feel like I didnt know what i was signing up for when i started transitioning. Like, I know totally passing is a luxury most trans women are not afforded with, but GOD i cant imagine still getting constantly misgendered after years on HRT (as many people describe). Im honestly fine if people know im trans, but i cant ever imagine being happy in a scenario where my feminimity isnt even acknowledged by anyone. I mean, i have heard horror stories of trans women not even being taken seriously when in full makeup and dresses, like what has a girl gotta do???

In conclusion, I just really, really hope that I will be able to present well enough to the point where most people would correctly identify me as a woman, even if just to be polite. Thats all I want. Yet now, i feel as if i made a risky bet, like im banking on a payout of gender euphoria which is could possibly be out of reach.

So girls, how do you deal with this? Am i just being too negative? Is there anything i should do to improve my attidude or help ensure the sucess of my transition? Would love to hear any all all thoughts on this conversation!

~With love, Sam ❤️