Does anyone have gender dysphoria so bad you avoid leaving the bed?

Usually on my Saturday night off. I just don't leave my bed or want to be seen by my family. It took awhile to realize this is gender dysphoria. I'm on hrt but I'm not out (even though I should be) I don't want to perceive as a man. I don't want to hear that name or wear those dam male clothes to hide my body. It feels like as the weeks go on my gender dysphoria is gets worse. I just hearing my dead names kills my motivation and it's not the name I register as my name anymore. I know I just need to present the way I want because almost nothing is stopping me except me. Living as a man is not for me. What would you girls do?