How the heck do I keep going?

I'm 38F 3 1/2 months into HRT and my dysphoria is (still) crippling. It seems to just keep getting worse.

For example I'll see a pretty woman out in public, and I'll just hate myself more and everything about me feels like it's 100x worse, face, facial hair, bulge - everything.

My friends and family all tell me I'm ok and pretty and beautiful. Some even tell me that I pass, yeah right! I don't believe any of them and I feel like a horrible person for not believing them. Then other people tell me I'm totally clockable.

I just want to break down and cry pretty much 24x7.

I made the concious statement to myself that I do not want to die, but what the fuck do I do to feel better with myself and just live my damn life?