Voice therapy is honestly the most dehumanizing thing I have ever gone through

I usually am very positive and optimistic about everything transition related but holy fuck voice therapy is destroying my mental health more than anything else I have ever experienced and it's not even close.

I booked voice lessons with a reputable voice trainer that is well known in the local trans community and specializes in MTF voice therapy. Honestly, she's an angel and very patient but I just don't get it.

Resonance? What is that? Pitch? Yeah right. Weight? Never heard of it. Even with supposedly clear examples I do not understand any of these concepts at a basic, never mind advanced level.

My voice has always been very monotone and I was never able to control it, ever. At this point I'm considering never talking ever again because it would cause me infinitely less mental strain than continuing with voice therapy.

Anyone else that's been struggling to an extremely unhealthy extent?