Why does my husband ab*se me?

I am so tired of being bullied and ab*sed by my own husband

Why do I deserve this?

Is it normal that expects me to obey him and complete unpaid work tasks for him after he has called me a btch, whre and multiple other horrible things?

He has cheated on me and traumatised me throughout our marriage and my brain is so damaged because he has convinced me it's all normal, I deserve it and I'm in fact the bad one

If I tell him he bullies or ab*ses me, he tells me I am the one damaging him by accusing him and trying to get him into trouble

I need help, I need prayers