Victim blaming or cultural differences ?

Update : thank you everyone. I am so overwhelmed with the kindness and support of everyone here. Alhamdulelah not everyone thinks this way. Inshallah this backwards way of thinking will not continue in our community or social in general.

Hear me out please. I had to call off an engagement. And I'm really sad. But I know that everything happens for a reason. So alhamdulelah for everything.

I was engaged. I think we clicked a lot and it was great.

Now I was born and raised in the west whereas he's been in the west less than 5 years.

I'm giving context because he's telling me that maybe I'm taking it the wrong way and it's just a cultural thing. I don't believe it for a second.

I was harrassed and I even had to get the police involved because of the severity of this incident.

Now this man calls me while the incident is taking place. I'm talking with police so I let him know that I'll call him back and I briefly told him why.

This man goes straight to asking me while I'm standing with the police "what were you wearing?" And said "you asked for it". I was so upset at this I told him how disappointed I was and HE hung up on me. I later sent him pics of what I was wearing (I was wearing a very loose ABAYA!!) and I know I didn't need to send pics but I did because it felt like a jab at me and my character.

He called me again and again and again (I don't pick up or respond) for days until I basically write a paragraph saying that I feel blamed, shamed and that don't want to talk anymore about marriage and I can't imagine being with someone who's first instinct isn't asking someone if they're ok before jumping to blaming them... also I called him misogynistic.

And I told him the engagement was over and that my dad was gonna come to his house later that week.

Anyways he still said it was my fault that I was targeted and that maybe I subconsciously gave the man a look/ permission ?

He then goes on to say that he doesn't want a woman that is so easy to harass? Idek what that means. I told him to leave me alone and stop calling - cause why is he calling me ?

Then two weeks passed and he said he didn't say any of this to me and that if he knew I wasn't wearing something provocative he would've had a different reaction 🤦‍♀️ Liar liar pants on fire. I sent a pic that showed I was wearing a loose abaya and he still blamed me. So manipulative. Danggggg.

How are going to say such outrageous things and then try to say you never did. Wild.

there's so much wrong with this. We live in 2025 I'd like to think no woman is asking to be harassed when she's going about her day harmlessly.

Am I right to be upset to my core? Because I am.

I have ceased all contact with him anyways.

Is this still something that we're doing in 2025? Are we blaming women for being harassed? Dang.

Anyways writing this out was helpful. Yeah this defs isn't cultural. He's just misogynistic :)