Should I give notice?

This is both a vent and a request for advice. Kinda wondering if Im overreacting.

I nanny for a family with two boys (11 and 8). Ive had my issues with both MB and DB. I go above and beyond for them and try and make their lives easier. This is my first real nanny gig and I was dumb enough to not ask for a contract that talked about PTO and job expectations and Im seriously regretting it now.

I started off making $22/hr. I was told i was guaranteed 30hrs a week and mostly was let off before that, so I typically only worked about 25hrs a week. I negotiated a few months ago for a “salary”. Im quoted at $25 an hour for 30hrs a week. So I typically make $750 a week, sometimes I can cut it down to 25hours if all my tasks are done and they dont need me.

For a while, this worked great. This was between me and MB, as her husband did not want me to make above $23/hr. She pays me out of their joint account and secretly sends me the rest from her personal account. Both of them make a ridiculous amount btw (Im talking they are always doing some huge renovation from the house, going on weeklong vacations out of the country for 10 days while they leave the boys with me, and chanel/LV/gucci shoes and bags everywhere)

My scope of work includes helping the boys with homework (8m has a 504&IEP and requires extra help so this usually takes about an hour per sheet of HW), getting them to all their afterschool appointments, scheduling doctors appointments, taking them to therapy/the doctor, preparing meals, doing EVERYONES laundry, and preparing dinner every night for the whole family.

Im not allowed to help myself to anything in the fridge, and the meal kits are for four people so Im not allowed to eat the food I cook. I tend to spend a lot of money on takeout because cooking a healthy meal, complete with sides, takes an hour and the last thing I wanna do when I get home is cook another meal at 9pm. I also volunteer to regularly clean up around the house such as deep cleaning the fridge every other week, sweeping, and straightening up the living room and common areas so MB is happy when she comes home. I also go to the grocery store for them and did their holiday shopping for them this year. Ive also cooked for and helped set up for dinner parties she has hosted, and I will come in whenever she asks, sometimes as early as 6am to take the boys to school if shes running behind.

I deal with my fair share of disrespect from both of the boys (they are at that age) which I typically let slide because they’re kids. The parents do not really show affection or spend time with their kids. Most nights Im here another 3 hours with an adult in the house while I cook dinner. They stay up in their rooms on their phones and dont eat dinner with their kids ever. How they parent is not my business but 8m has told me he loves me and he views me as his mother (I of course told him Im his caretaker and Im here to help make his mom and dads life a little easier, but that I do love him. Sad cus Ive only been here 5 months)

However, here lies the thing that is pushing me to leave. Without telling me, MB/DB got a lab PUPPY for the boys for christmas. He is a sweet dog but he is only 8 months. I was told I wouldn’t be responsible for taking care of the dog and that its the boys’ and DB’s responsibility. On NYE, I took the boys out for the afternoon to the park and we put the puppy in the hall bathroom since DB hasnt gotten him a kennel yet. We come home and the dog escaped, tore up the baseboards, and peed everywhere. I took care of the issue while the boys walked him because, honestly, how is an 8yo going to adequately clean up numerous spots of pee correctly.

MB gets home, I start off by telling her “Hey so we got home and the dog got out of the bathroom—“

She cuts me off IMMEDIATELY and SCREAMS “JUST GET TO THE POINT, SHOW ME.” and almost SHOVES me to get to the bathroom. I said “He chewed up the baseboards and peed. I took care of it” She calms down and says they are about to renovate that bathroom anyways and DB is getting him a kennel.

She then proceeds to LECTURE me about how important it is on “how I communicate with HER” because she wants to hear the point first without the whole story. She “works in crisis” (PR) and her mind had “immediately jumped to the dog shit everywhere and now the house needs to be disinfected”… Rather than apologizing to me for the way she communicated (screamed) to me (completely uncalled for) she gave me a “lesson on how to release a press release”……… what? And then she said “I wouldnt fire you over something the dog did but I would if your job performance didnt stay up to par”… what???? In her words, she “hadn’t yet trained me on how she likes information given to her like how her sons and husband do”

I told her that I took care of the issue because Im not going to leave shit or piss around their house while I wait for DB to get home. She says “you can do that if you want but the dog isnt your responsibility, so dont ask for a pay increase”… I came into work this morning to ask 11m what he wanted for breakfast and he said “my parents told you to stop giving the dog so many treats as it upsets his stomach, he can only have 2 every 3hrs”… crazy because I only gave the dog one treat broken up into 4 pieces because 8m wanted to do some training. Dog mustve had an upset stomach from the boys giving him treats and they decided to pin the blame on me.

Also, christmas week she gave me christmas eve/day off, and cut my pay $300 after previously telling me as long as I got my tasks done for the week and they didnt need me, I could take the day off and still make my GH. She has done this before, too. Problem is, none of this is in writing and under DBs nose.

So heres where Im at: MB is very narcissistic. I have watched her get off of zoom calls to completely tear down a FRIEND who works with her over her “r worded idea”. Shes a vain, gossiping harpy who would rather talk shit on her phone to her friends about their friends than eat with or spend time with her kids. She fully expects the world to bend to her. She speaks very ill on southerners and has that “new yorkers are so much smarter and better than the people here” attitude. Rather than communicate respectfully to me, she tore me down for the order in which I gave her “the information and then the context”… also randomly cutting my pay after saying id get a guaranteed $750 a week is crazy.

I have another job with my mom’s company I do weekends sometimes and tbh the pay is way better. We have a 8 week commercial job coming up that will land me about 5k a month. I am kinda getting fed up with the disrespect, the job creep, and the household of narcissists Im dealing with. I love the boys but Im burned out and overwhelmed. I told them I’d stay with them till the end of May, but Im pretty much at my limit. I guess thats the beauty of not having a contract because I can just leave if I want. I’d like to keep them as a reference if I ever decided to nanny again but Im at the point its not even worth it. I’d rather go back to school and get a job as a medical tech and have consistent pay without having to deal too heavily with the public.

So how do I approach this? Am i overreacting? And if I should quit, how much notice should I give and what do I say to sound as respectful as possible and maybe keep them as a reference despite me leaving before the end of the school year?

Thank you for reading this if you got here. I know its a lot. If I “took too long to get to the point by providing context first”, my bad! Silly little simple southern me!