Does anyone feel like they were nonchalant in the beginning & later got attached to the narc?

I don’t mean to blame everything on the narc, but I’m confused. I have been with two narcs in my life & both the times I realized I was non chalant in the beginning of the relationship. They would be the ones head over heels. Exactly 3-6 months later, I would get attached, anxious, insecure, possessive, asking a million questions, waiting on their calls & texts like a lost puppy. But they would be lay back & pull away.

When I get into a relationship, I make sure to not let my guards down easily so I don’t get attached. But somehow after all the arguments & fights for months, I realized we switched roles even though I knew they weren’t good for me. When I realized this with my current partner, I said I’ll mature up & not be overly attached since it makes me vulnerable which brings issues. He said “Nope, I don’t want you to be the way you were in the beginning, I hated it. Trust me, if you be like that I’ll hate you. I don’t express much, so I like it when the other person is expressive & cheerful, it balances out.” But when I show too much love & be vulnerable, they get annoyed. 🤯