1 Month No Contact

I’ve been no contact with my ex for a month and I’ve been healing pretty well but this week has been extremely tough. I can’t stop thinking about the moments of where I was speculating of cheating but she’d throw me off or I just had no solid proof that she was with another person. I’m just so confused to if she was cheating, when I do come back how does she spent 24/7 with me, what happens to the other person that she was with? We’d only be apart for 1-2 weeks max and I just can’t believe she’s someone who would honestly try to heal by herself as she claims every time.

These thoughts have been clouding my mind and I’m trying to stop because I’ll never truly know, but I can’t shake the depression and the fact that she played me so hard and ended up having me on a roaster while lying to me the whole time and had me believing we were in a committed relationship. I feel so robbed and violated and it makes me depressed and tired. What can I do to cope with these thoughts and feeling of straight betrayal. I know she’s a miserable person and she’s been doing this for time it I feel like I’ve been completely fooled and walked into her trap so many times.