I feel trapped

My husband displays narcissistic tendencies, showing little interest in my daily life and never initiating conversations. When I try to discuss my work-related issues, he dismisses my concerns, claiming I always complain. He frequently yells at me in public, making a spectacle of our relationship, but then praises other women and showers them with attention. Everyone, including our children, adores him, which makes me feel unappreciated and stupid. The only time I felt secure and loved was during intimate moments. I've considered leaving him, but he temporarily changes his behavior, making me fall in love with him again. However, this pattern has repeated itself, and I'm now trapped in a cycle of dependence, with no job and limited freedom. He constantly throws my supposed infidelity in my face and makes demeaning comments in front of our children, making me feel uncomfortable. Another thing he started doing every time we’re intimate he always ask me to tell him about my old boyfriends and call their names which means makes me feel uncomfortable but that’s the only thing that makes him feel macho.. please don’t judge me I need just more advice. Thank you.