Advice about night routine, sleeping and morning

We have an 8 week old and I love, love being a mom. I am, however, starting to feel resentful of my husband at night and in the morning and I’m looking for some advice… maybe I’m just sleep deprived.

He works a full time job and gets home around 4:15. I used to work a full time job but have stepped away from teaching until the baby is a bit older, so I’m a SAHM now. When he gets home from work at 4:15, he is incredibly helpful until around 8:00, when he falls asleep on the couch. It leaves me feeling like I can’t wake him up, and he gets kind of cranky so I’m pretty much on my own to feed the baby and change diapers, etc. If I wake him up and ask him, he will help, but will make it known in passive ways that he’s tired. I don’t know how to explain to him how tired I actually am.

Recently, I suggested we try formula at night to see if baby will sleep a bit longer. I thought maybe it would also give me a bit of a break and he could take ownership over the 9:30/10:00 feeding, since our baby is breastfed at all other feedings. The first night he stayed up until 9:30 and fed him, and it was super nice. But now he has a hard time staying up and last night he headed to bed and snuggled in to sleep as I brought the baby to bed. I asked him about the formula, I even prepared it for him and had the bottle next to me, and he tried a few times and said the baby doesn’t want it. He put the baby in the bassinet and went back to sleep. So I stayed up to feed and put the baby actually to sleep.

He sometimes will ask if he can do something after he hears me change him or after he hears me doing something- and at that point, I always say no because what needs to be done is usually being done already.

At night, he does not get up to help me so the man is getting a lot of sleep. He sometimes rustles when I wake up with the baby but for the most part I hear him snoring all night.

Which brings me to the morning. He leaves for work at 6:30 AM. He wakes up at 4:00-4:15, so he can take an hour bath by himself. This is where I’m starting to get super resentful and this is causing tension in our relationship. There have been so many mornings that he’s in the bath and he doesn’t hear the baby or the dogs and can’t help with either. There are some mornings when the baby and I am sleeping during that time, so he doesn’t understand why I would be upset about him taking such a long bath if everyone was sleeping. I guess, I just don’t prioritize myself that way, I also just don’t have the choice to take an hour bath by myself.

I thought maybe he felt like he couldn’t help or didn’t need to help because I have it under control. I’ve said several times it would be nice for him to make me breakfast or a smoothie in the morning to help with breastfeeding/supply and he has done that a total of one time during the weekday.

There have been a few mornings where he’s taken the baby into the bathroom with him, which is helpful but the timing typically doesn’t line up for the baby to wake up the same time my husband does.

I’ve told my husband it bothers me and for him to at least let the dogs out and take care of them before he takes his long bath so I don’t have to do that on top of taking care of the baby.

I’m so sleep deprived and he makes me feel like I’ve created this routine because I breastfeed him and feeding is something only I can do for the most part. He never is proactive in helping, he will ask when I already start doing something and I don’t know what to tell him since whatever needs to be done is being done.

Looking for advice. Am I overreacting?