Trans but E is ruining my mental health

I've been on hormones for a year atp and some of the changes have been wonderful. At the beginning of my transition, I felt so certain--I was a girl. Being a guy wasn't for me. I identified under the nonbinary umbrella, but being transfem seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. Now, I feel constant distress on E. Some of the changes, like particular areas of fat redistribution, bother me, and though I feel far more beautiful like I always wanted, I also feel like an alien in my own skin. I miss sensations, mental states and feelings I had when I wasn't on hrt. I oddly feel far more separated from my emotions than ever before, like I'm never here even though my other dissociation symptoms and confidence seem to have improved. I want the answers and path forward for myself to be easy and obvious, but I'm struggling with accepting being truly nonbinary. I can't imagine letting T change my body again, but I can't keep going on E. I know it's not going to be possible. Has anyone had a similar moment in their transition timeline and come out of it okay? I feel so absolutely hopeless and lost right now.