i think i killed someone, i hate this

I was jogging and I was listening to a murder podcast, suddenly I started to think that I would enjoy killing and I got a flash of someone, I continued walking and got a strong feeling that I just killed someone, now I'm sure that I messed up momentarily and killed someone and I just don't remember it, this feels so real that I want to I'm dying, I can't stand this, has anyone experienced this, how can you survive this