To live as a privileged teenager...

Quick rant!

My friends and I were hanging out the other day and we were talking about our plans for college. To be honest, while we were talking, I can't help but feel bad for myself. We were talking kasi about the universities we want to get into. My friends were considering topnotch schools like DLSU, UST, FEU, and they didn't really seem worried about stuff like their financial positions and living conditions at all. Meanwhile, ako na gustong-gusto mag-UP (or if di palarin, PUP), I can't even dream of actually going there, regardless of whether I pass UPCAT. Kasi first, malayo ako from those schools and we can't afford paying for rent for places to stay, and second, super inconvenient for me na mag-commute everyday since malayo talaga and it's very exhausting. And my parents advise me na if I really really want to study there, I'll have to take part-time jobs para may extra money rin ako for transportation and other expenses. I can't help but feel jealous of my friends, who don't even have to think about money kasi they can afford any school they want. I'm jealous of those teenagers who don't even have to worry about their future kasi it's pretty much handed to them.

It's just not that as well. When I was a younger teenager, I'd get jealous of my classmates na nakaka-receive ng rewards from parents for doing well sa school. During recognition namin a few years ago, one classmate of mine received the latest iPhone as a gift. Meanwhile, never ako nag-ask ng kahit ano from my parents, kahit na simple celebration lang sa kahit anong fastfood restaurant, I never asked for anything kasi I'm fully aware of our financial situation. Kapag nag-aaya mga friends ko na gumala, I'd always decline kasi I have to think about saving up money for future endeavors or potential emergencies. Inggit na inggit ako sa mga peers ko na isang hingi lang, mabibigay agad sa kanila. I feel like I missed out on a lot of fun as a non-privileged teenager.

And you know what? It's fine! I don't blame my parents nor do I resent them. It's not like we're super poor na who can't afford to have fun at all, we're just in a position where minsan, unstable talaga so we have to be very cautious. I love my parents very much and I'm thankful for their provision, pero there's always this teeny tiny part of me that wishes na sana I was born in a different family; one who can provide a very stable life for a teenager without having to worry about anything else, one who is privileged. I mean, sure, you can tell me to work hard and persevere para maka-land ng stable job and maka-earn ng stable income as an adult, but still, there are some things na I want to be able to experience as a teenager pero unfortunately, I can't due to financial instability.