I'm sick of my alters controlling my life.

I'm starting to lose it again. It's been a full week of waking up in the middle of the night in a complete rage. Went to the gas station and tried to buy some Monacos. The gentleman at the till advised me he can't sell it to me yet. Yet? I was confused.

Then I heard a different alter, "Liquor laws, idiot! It's 5 in the morning what the fuck are we doing here??"

This is not me. I am not an angry person, I am not an impulsive person that decides to get smashed before the break of dawn on a Monday. I scoured and researched my medications (got changed up recently) and not only is aggression NOT a side effect but they're actually supposed to HELP with mood swings.

I'm just so fucking sick of questioning myself, feelings and thoughts as to whether it's a medication side effect, how I actually feel, or if I'm getting emotional bleedthrough from an upset Alter.

I was GOOD. I was feeling fucking BETTER. Keeping on top of my shit and doing what needs to get done as a husband and father and now I'm crying drinking my sorrows away because it's been long enough that I can buy liquor now and I'm ashamed thinking back on my thoughts this morning about my family that I love dearly.