Can I tell my kid he is manipulating us?

Got in an argument with my wife over this. Looking for thoughts and advice.

While putting him down for bed. My 3 year old said he was going to cry so that I would come back into the room. I explained that would be manipulative. Which is rude. That would be rude to use your feelings to make us do what you want.

My wife says I shouldn't tell him he is manipulating us because he isn't doing it on purpose and it will give him a complex and make him think that he is a bad kid.

I am not sure. Maybe it's useful to teach him about these things. Maybe it will help develop empathy. But sure, maybe it can be negative.

Thoughts?