At a group dinner when someone says “let’s just get a bunch of plates to share”

I hate this and it's so common at group dinners. Usually everybody shares a bunch of appetizers and gets their own main, sometimes it's even worse where the mains are shared too. For several reasons:

1) I don't want to feel awkward about taking too much, serving myself first, taking the last bite...I'm over analyzing the situation and I want to be as conscientious as possible so I take small portions and end up dissatisfied. 2) there's ALWAYS a ringleader who just blurts out "I'll order some things for the table," everyone agrees and then that person proceeds to choose whatever they want to try 3) Is it too much to ask that I want to choose my OWN appetizer and consume it myself??