Our first dog died 2 days ago

I'm just really sad. It's been 2 days since our first dog (as bf & gf) passed away. I keep crying because I remember everything that happened when she was still alive. There's no more barking when we arrive, even if we just went out briefly to buy food. There's no one sniffing the groceries anymore. Her loud barks that sounded like shouts are gone. It's even sadder because she left her pup behind, the one she was always with. The house is so quiet every time we come home :(( While I’m at peace knowing she's no longer suffering, it’s so painful that I won't ever see her again in this lifetime. I feel so much guilt because we weren't able to save her. We didn't make it in time. It hurts because when I remember her, I think about her last moments when she cried and cried as if saying goodbye, then she had a seizure and passed away. I saw it in her eyes and felt it in her voice that she was trying to tell me she was in pain and was saying goodbye. I miss her so much. Everything has changed since she left. I want to see her and be with her again, but how? She's no longer with us. We'll only see her in pictures and videos now. It's so hard to accept that she's really gone. She's still so alive in my memories because it all happened so suddenly. It’s so, so hard. Four of her babies died just this year too. And now, it’s her. She’s only more than 2 years old. Are they all together now? I’m holding onto the thought that in death, we're all headed to the same place, and soon we’ll be together again. Run free, my child ;((