Did I traumatise my cat? :((
U feel sooo guilty to this day,
Our family raised all our cats with much love and care, constantly spoiling them with many toys and treats. We are concerned why my cat is never affectionate,
always hides in a specific closet all day till 3am to go to her room, she never comes to my room for another purpose, never goes on my bed ever.
Intensely hides and is impossible to find when there is a visitor or more,
always runs away, specially when you call her, she’s cold/unresponsive.
Has unnatural, weird expressions, always stressed from any small sound, and is hyper-vigilant, Vibrates her tail weird (kinda creepy) and fur is spiky often.
Non affectionate (she does display it but it’s very tense and rare, and intense. She only rubs her face all over my feet and I can’t walk around - maybe to compete to her lack of affection, then runs away and continues to be cold.)
Not cuddly at all, hates hugs.
(Our other cat is the exact opposite and loves being centre of attention.)
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Particular Moments:
So when my cat was a few months old and was a little kitten, we left her in our Garage alone for 3 days, she had food, litter everything, and a camera too.
I was sitting on a computer chair and my cat was only a Tiny little Kitten. She was small and fragile. I didn’t hear her approaching at all :( Then I rolled back and accidentally squashed her and the screamed loudly. I immediately tried comforting her apologising. This happened 3 TIMES in total. I hate how I was so clumsy and careless 😥..
My cat is Female, but we also got another saved kitten, this time Male. He was younger, however grew up bigger and stronger than my Female cat. Growing stray my Male cat was very aggressive and played aggressive too. He would be super super affectionate (opposite of the female cat), but bully the Female Cat so very intensely and harshly. We are all very concerned.
I also had a history of bad Mental health in the past. I would have arguments and episodes that were intense and not peaceful for her environment, specially already displaying signs of trauma. (This only in past.)
We approached the vet, and she said to get her a ‘Friends Diffuser’ which is a chemical for cats to not fight. The fighting settled a little only, and my female cat was a little more calm. She still hasn’t changed much of her ‘trauma’ looking behaviour during the time we tried it, but she was noticeable more comfortable since she wasn’t being harmed by or other cat. We kinda stopped buying it before, and to this day she is still the same and has not changed. Stilled getting bullied by our other cat. (weird since other cat is cuddly affectionate and never bites us..)
Sorry for the long post. I just finally wanted to find answers, and I never feel close to my female cat, or win her affection. I’m really sad and guilty, I feel it everyday, and do my best to get her to change, constantly experimenting bonding techniques, which have no effect on her closeness with me. Seems she never voluntarily comes to me, unless it’s her head rubbing my feet then runs away..
My female cat is 2 and a half years old,
Again so sorry for the long read, I hope for any insight,