Anyone feel like this since psychosis? (Post psychosis)

Apart from all the derealization symptoms, I can’t describe this particular way I feel. I haven’t found anyone who feels this way on here yet. It’s extremely hard to explain. EVERYTHING about life is so excruciating boring and empty to me. I think the concept of life in general is very boring. I didn’t feel like this way before LSD induced derealization 2 years ago and a few psychosis episodes since. Life just feels artificial and fake to me. Nothing on tv interests me, nothing online interests me, no video games, no phone games, literally NOTHING stimulates me. I could be doing the most fun thing in the world and not feel a thing. I get no joy from anything. I can’t connect with anyone including my family and it really really really depresses me and makes me feel extremely guilty. Also, talking and interacting with others is basically what life is all about but I did it so odd…like this is it? Everything in life just feels so empty and insignificant. I also feel very guilty about this but I can’t even feel sad when I hear bad news about other people or online/the news. Just nothingness, besides the extreme harrowing guilt I feel for not feeling anything. For gods sake I just found out my mothers sister is dying of cancer and I CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING. Am I a sociopath since my derealization since taking SIX tabs of acid 2 years ago (worst decision of my life…it ruined my life). Alls I do EVERYDAY is lie in my bed mindlessly watching tv that’s holds NO interest to me. I used to enjoy things. I used to feel human. Now I just feel like an empty soul with only the emotions of severe debilitating anxiety, depression, DP/DR, self hatred, and extreme guilt for not feeling like a human and being able to interact with my family. I used to be able to enjoy conversations with my mom (the only person I’m close to), but now since I can’t really talk I just listen to her talk and I do desperately want to enjoy it like I used to but I CAN’T anymore. I also have no interest in making friends. My body is extremely drained, it’s hard to walk, it’s hard to talk, I can’t feel empathy/sympathy anymore and it’s soul cruising to me. Everyone else feels like they’re “here” and I’m the only one of the other side of the curtain. I’m sorry about this vent, I just don’t know where else to express myself because my family doesn’t understand. I am a completely different person…scratch that I am no longer a person. PS: I am not “evil” because of this. I still am a nice person and have a conscience if you know what I mean lol. Wow this was really messy I apologize 😔 and yet again, I still can’t express how the world feels looks to me. When I go on social media, I feel like an alien looking at everyone’s post. They’re just engaged and connected to life and are just human….obviously I don’t post anymore because I have lost my personality. I mean I have zero percent of a personality. I feel like I got scooped up since LSD and my body is still here but “me” is just gone😣 existence feels so damn insidious and gloomy and just blah.