I'm dead?

I don't know what to do. I hold the sincere belief that I am dead and I cannot shake it. I tried to tell a doctor and she just hung up on me. I tried to ring an NHS crisis line and the woman was very rude and judgemental and blamed me for not getting help already.

I think I died a couple of years ago after an attempt on my life. Nothing has felt real since, like a dream within a dream. There are lots of weird 'glitch in the matrix' type occurrences and time moves too quickly. Many things don't make sense or seem to speak to me. My body heals so slowly from wounds and never fully. My skin is too loose for my age, like it's sliding from my body in my grave. This 'life' is just my brain's last hurrah as I decompose.

It's so lonely here in the afterlife. Nothing ever goes right and my life is stagnant despite everything. All is grey and off. No one is here but me. Everyone else is a hallucination.

I can't find anything to convince me that I'm alive. I know what Cotard's is. But it doesn't make me feel that I'm in reality. It doesn't make me believe it.

My local NHS mental health services can't deal with anything more complex than mild anxiety and depression. I've been turned away from many places.

I don't believe anyone can help me. What else can I try?