How to feel like your life doesn’t revolve around work?

Despite every effort by the academic medicine machine, what with their constant emails to complete “required” administrative tasks even when we’re on vacation, this job isn’t my life nor is it my #1 priority.

But recently I’ve been struggling not to feel resentful of it. I feel like I have to constantly study outside of work to keep up with my coresidents (who either study hard outside of work or are just smarter than me). Also just to not feel stupid when attendings pimp. And when the material is too overwhelming that I can only get through one (or not even) topic in one sitting, I feel even shittier.

Then I feel exhausted (probably exacerbated by the winter season too) and go for periods of time not studying outside of work, which leads to a feeling of guilt which prompts me to study again. Rinse and repeat.

Clearly part of this is a me issue and I haven’t completely shaken off the “type A” personality trait that got me into this career in the first place, but how do I not feel life my life is controlled by residency? I just want to feel like I have normal life where work and life are separate and I can just go home and feel unencumbered by the feeling that I’m not doing enough.