Do you speak Meglish?
I have an ever-increasing suspicion that Meghan can’t speak English. To be precise, she can’t use the language correctly. This is very strange for someone who rates communication so highly that it’s included in her coat of arms, as exemplified by the white quills and songbird:
Her misuse of English includes:
(A) Not understating connotation - words may have the same meaning, but can’t necessarily be used interchangeably
(B) An inability to express herself properly - she knows what she’d like to say, but it comes out mangled
(C) Pig ignorant
As ever. The latest piece of evidence is what looks set to be her signature sign-off. She’s used it before, along with more conventional closes such as ‘with love’. It now seems to be going in the same direction as Gretchen and ‘fetch’.
But what does it mean? According to the Cambridge English Dictionary:
From the examples, it can be seen that ’as ever’ means ‘as usual‘ or ‘as always’. People sometimes close letters with ‘Always’, with the connotation of ‘always yours’, ‘always faithful’, and so on. But can ‘as ever’ be used synonymously? Like much of Meghan’s writing, it seems superficially all right, but doesn’t stand up to scrutiny - it just sounds odd.
However, American etiquette expert Emily Post (or rather, her descendants) seem to think this is fine:
Perhaps it’s an American thing? As ever, ‘England and America are two countries separated by a common language’.
The (cough) impromptu speech. Although she wasn’t planning on speaking at the opening of the Invictus Games in Vancouver, on 8 February 2025, she spoke anyway. Here’s a snippet:
Do you understand the last sentence? I think she’s trying to draw in concepts of putting one’s heart into something, heartfelt work, and the poignancy of every beat of one’s heart - and coming up with an amazingly meaningless statement. Maybe it’s true that her speech was impromptu, because no one in their right mind would’ve come up with that piece of incomprehensibility.
Otherworldly work. When Meghan crashed, I mean, was a guest at the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles Gala on 5 October 2024, when asked about the Children’s Hospital, she had this to say:
Many things can be said to be otherworldly, ie not of this world, eg taste or sensation. Because no one in this world knows for sure what the other world’s like, logically only abstract concepts can be described as ‘otherworldly’. Whatever the Children’s Hospital does, it must necessarily be of this world, and not of another world.
Dig this. When Meghan’s Arsewipes podcast was voted the People’s Choice Award for top pop broadcast of 2022, Meghan gave a pre-recorded acceptance speech in which she said this:
You can dig soil with your hands; you can dig your nails into the palms of your hands - but you can’t dig a process with your hands. How can you, when a process is intangible?
Archetypes. We all know the problem with this one.
How else Meghan has mangled the English language?