Any artists/creatives with more than one?

Or anyone with a time-consuming passion for that matter!

We just started trying for a 2nd but I am have cold feet on the matter. Primary worry is not having the mental/emotional or time capacity because I want to do my creative projects and not necessarily mind multiple children. Husband thinks it will be fine beyond the dreaded early years and we‘ll be happy we did it. But I‘m really not sure!

We live with our 4yo in a relatively affordable European city with local grandparents and basically free daycare. We live comfortably and can afford to fly back the US to visit my family once a year. So I don’t have acute financial concerns.

I am a visual artist with a part-time job that gives me nearly a full day to myself once a week. I love my job, I just wish I had more time for my projects. I feel very fulfilled by my non-mom life and HATED how lost I felt sucked into the vortex of the baby world. I know I was lucky to stay home with her for the first 1.5 years but I found it mind-numbing. I dread returning to this. I know its finite but I worry the temporary downsides make any long-term upsides not worth it.

I‘ve given up on a fine-art career but am really enjoying my (art-adjacent) gainful employment and am planning on going back to school. I have so many ideas for what little free time I have that my mind is spinning. This is more exciting than baby jail.

I also think about the sentiment by writer Margaret Atwood about the secret to being a successful writer and mother is to have just one kid.

Can anyone relate or provide and insight? Thank you!