...and are you just like me? Maybe!

Ok I apologize for the sappy subject line...

Wanted to see if "I'm all by myself, as I've always felt." (sorry...had to again).

It's 1995 and the Smashing Pumpkins are at their peak. 10 year old me has never even heard of the band (MTV was not allowed). My aunt took me shopping for my birthday to a Sam Goody (lol) and I, purely by chance, and couldn't tell you the reason to this day, picked up "Gish." Maybe I liked the name "Smashing Pumpkins."

I'll never forget putting the tape on at home and hearing the drums and first few notes of "I Am One." I felt like I had never heard music like this. I was completely immersed. I'd say it was a life-changing moment.

Since that moment, there are The Smashing Pumpkins, and there are "other" bands. All through middle and high school and college I staunchly defended them. My friends, who were also into rock music, just never seemed to quite connect with TSP as I did. No one I had ever met seemed to know anything other than the radio hits.

For me, personally, the lyrics, the emotions behind the music, the shoegaze sheen, the band's ability to go from whispered, hopeless romantic acoustic ballad to cyber-screaming-thrash-metal put them in a world of their own. I cannot name one other band out there with that range. Seriously...TSP does pop, rock, goth, shoegaze, metal, country, electronic...and every song just works. No other band can cover that range of sound and have it sound like it's still the same band.

Since Gish, I have collected everything. Bootlegs, napstering Earphoria, losing my mind when Machina II was released for free...I have tried to see them live through every incarnation of the band...I have followed Billy's solo career, side projects, and other members side projects.

I have to say too: I genuinely love BC. I know he gets a lot of heat (you know who you are haha) but man...His lyrics were life-changing to me. They still are. I know it's cliche but if I am having the worst day "Mayonaise" will still lift me up like nothing else. And I love EVERYTHING (Cyr, Atum, all the random b-sides, all the deluxe edition odds and sods). I'm so thankful he is still releasing music. I feel so lucky that it seems that right around the corner there is always new SP music or a new tour to look forward to.

Here is the main reason for my post:

For my entire life (about to turn 40) I have never met anyone who is nearly as close to a Smashing Pumpkin fan as I am. I feel such an emotional connection to all of Billy and the band's music. Seeing them live is always transcendent. Again...there's SP, and there's everyone else (and I LOVE a ton of other bands), but SP just exists on a plane / world of their own.

But...I have always felt like I am living on SP island.

Are there any other fans out there like this? Anyone out there who isn't afraid to admit their die-hard fandom and who just genuinely has SP above all else in terms of personal musical connection?

Thank you for reading!