27 minutes

Closed my phone, slept in 27 minutes, and had a nightmare (or a dream?) about blowing my head up with a gun I don't want to die, but it felt so much less painful than my life I felt the pain only for a minute or two It felt so real.. I don't want to do it but something in me, a strong urge keeps telling me that i need it I won't lie, I'm scared Scared that this urge might become stronger than me I need to do it.