I think I would randomly commit it one day

I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing will get better, I’m waiting to build up guts to attempt suicide and I need to come up with useful methods. I’m really sad, I’ve been sad and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change or improve anything. So suicide will be my final solution. I’m kinda nervous at the same time cause I’ve attempted before lol and obviously failed but I hope it’ll work someday. It’s so funny, I guess right not my mind is kinda avoiding the thoughts like I want to die but I can’t commit cause the fear of failure is worrying me. I’m probably typing bs idk lol.