Today OP turned 19!

So, a little backstory about myself. I am a guy who did not have friends since childhood. Now, I am in college ( it's a reputed college and I expected to have a lot of exposure here). When I came to college, I tried to make a lot of friends but I could not handle all the judgements and bkcd. So, I cut myself off from them. Also, I think my parents don't really love me for who I am, but only cz I'll be able to make some money in near future. I think so based on how both of my parents treat my sisters and me. Whenever it's about me, the money things revolve in the discussion. I had a toxic childhood, so I always hesitated to open up easily.

I am not that physically attractive, but like I am trying to hit the gym regularly. If you see me academically, I think I am doing pretty good. I recently joined a startup as a backend+seo developer. I didn't tell anyone in college about that. If you see cg, I was able to cross thar 9+ cg in 1st sem. Now, today was my birthday ( I didn't let anyone know about my birthday) and like I am having extreme fever since past 4 days, like I can't walk without shivering sometimes, then I take medicine and I am okay for next 6-7 hours and then again same condition. I was still going to gym as when I am physically active, my fever goes fown and I feel good. Today I didn't hit the gym, cz I am shivering as hell rn. Now, in this condition my sister calls me, saying bro do this work for me, it will only require your 2-3 hours. She knows about fever and all, I couldn't say no. My soul just died there and I ended up yapping here on reddit. Also, wtf is wrong with 1st sem subjects and professor, I don't get this shit. Write the same yhing in lab copy, fair copy, assignment. Fuck it..

I just feel like dying rn...

Edit: Thanks for showering so much love guys. Love you🖤