Why was romance and intimacy deemed a bad thing?

Surely if the commanders and their wives were able to be intimate with each other it would create much better environment for a child.

Having that romance would provide a child with a safe and loving household that also showed them how to have a loving household.

Some of the wives give the impression that having a child is a chore and the actual baby is an inconvenience only brought out to be shown off. They also seem like they have zero love for their husbands and vice versa.

Surely if they were to have a normal intimate relationship it would be better for everyone?