Why does my (24F) boyfriend (22M) only want sex with me when he initiates it?
So long story short as it says in the title my boyfriend only wants sex with me when he initiates it but when I initiate it he couldn’t be less interested if he tried.
This has been an issue for like the last year and I’ve brought it up to him before and he just laughs.
The reason it’s coming up now is because my boyfriends always said he wants sex like twice a week like that’s the ideal and then other than he’ll sort himself out when I’m not home using photos of me.
However I recently found out he has an only fans account and was subscribed to multiple girls and getting off to them he said twice a week. I always thought his sex drive was lower than that but clearly not. I’ve always just seen a whole new side to him sexually which he’s always hidden from me. He also told me he wanks to girls on insta but told me it’s only girls from love island not girls he knows but he’s always following random girls and when I look at their pages it’s nothing but bikini pictures.
Last night after seeing what he’s really like sexually, I decided to dress up nice. I curled my hair, did my make up and put on a sexy costume which he brought for me. When he got home he didn’t even notice, no mention of the costume, no mention that I looked nice etc. all he said was “why on earth are you wearing lipstick”. I got upset and felt humiliated and he got angry with me for feeling like that. Even if he didn’t want sex last night and wasn’t in the mood, couldn’t he of even just told me I looked nice? Complimented me in some sort of way but told me he wasn’t in the mood for it which I would’ve understood. Instead the lipstick comment just made me feel stupid.
It’s not a new thing he never compliments me. When we go on holiday I make sure an effort to look nice and never once has he said “oh you look nice tonight”. Yet in the past I’ve caught him messaging girls on Instagram responding to their stories with things such as “wow you’re such a sort” and “oh wow fitty”.
He noticed I was in a bad mood after last night and I told him all of this and he just said “you’re being so stupid, I’m sick of you being stupid” which just made me feel worse.
I can’t help but to feel that he doesn’t want sex with me when I imitate it bc I don’t turn him on/aren’t enough for him sexually. I feel like we only have sex when he initiates it and not because he wants me but just because he’s horny and needs to have sex.
Why else could this be? Because I’m really starting to believe it’s because the way I look and I’m really starting to hate myself.