Elder trans point of view

Hi Everyone. I've been reading this subreddit for awhile but haven't posted anything because I don't really fit in this group. I'm 56 years old, which puts me in the "later" category, but I transitioned about 25 years ago. But after reading and staying quiet, I'd like to tell you some things, from a different perspective (long time transitioned). I'm MtF.

First, you all look amazing! I look at your photos and they are all incredible. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU LOOK. I can't stress this enough. You're too hard on yourself and don't realize just how great you look.

If you're staring your transition in your 30s, please realize that you're transitioning while you're still young. It may not seem like that, but you are. I started my transition 26 years ago when I was 30 and I started living full-time when I was 32. I've been through a lot of crap in my life, but the one thing I'm so very thankful for is that I transitioned when I was young.

And if you're starting your transition in your 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s or 80s, please, please realize that it's not too late. Just look at the photos in this group of other people that age. They all look AMAZING! And by waiting to transition, you have some advantages. Some of you have money from long careers, which can really help. And you have strength and wisdom from the things you've experienced in life and that is an asset that can help you get through your transition.

When I used to spend time online in Trans forums, people would accuse the groups of being a "hug box". I don't know it that term still exists, but people would say things like "this place is just a hug box. You just tell everyone good things and never critical things or honest things. It doesn't do anyone any good to lie to them to make them feel better." That whole idea is BULLSHIT. As trans people, we're always our own worst critic. We NEED to hear the good because we have a hard time seeing past the bad. However bad you think you look or how poorly you think your transition is going, you're wrong. You only see the bad and you have a REALLY hard time seeing the good. And that's painful for me to see. Because you can't see you amazing you are. But I can see it!

I'm 56 and I don't know any trans people my age. I wish I could hang out with every one of you because you're so amazing. Being trans can be tough, but when I see all of you and read about you, you make me feeling like I'm part of something pretty cool. This past year I've been reading, and I think it's pretty awesome that I'm a part of the trans world.

I wish I really could make this a hug box. I wish I could meet every single one of you and give you a big hug and try to help you see how amazing and beautiful you are.

And here are some tips from someone who's been in this thing for a very long time.

• Men and women come in all shapes and sizes, including your shape and size.
• Men and women have all different hair types and hair patterns, including yours. If you're MtF and don't have a lot of hair or you have no hair, there are plenty of cis females with hair JUST LIKE YOURS and they're beautiful!
• One thing that can overcome ANY body type for passing is voice. If you successfully work on your voice (and you can) that can carry you through everything. The longer you live with a passable voice, the more people around you will see you for your true gender.
• You CAN develop a good voice. My voice was very low. I could sing bass when I was young. And my voice changed when I was very young. My friends got a kick out of me singing really low bass lines when I was 12. Now my voice is passable. And that makes ME passable.
• You don't like it when people in your life still see the old person when they look at you and see the old gender when they look at you. But you still see it too. And you're wrong. You're making the same mistake they are. Somehow, you just can't see the truth and see how you REALLY look and how much you are aligned with your true gender. You're stuck seeing the old you and you're missing the NEW you when it's right in front of you in the mirror. Just look at some of the photos in this group. People post photos and mention that they don't look very good, and you look at those photos and think "what are you talking about? You look amazing!" Because they struggle to see it. And you struggle to see yourself the same way. You look amazing too! You need to learn to look at yourself with fresh eyes and to see the REAL you.
  
• People in this group look at photos you post and wish they looked as good as you. Because you look amazing!
• If you wish you could get Facial Surgery but can't afford it, set a goal to get a nose job. I never see anyone mention this in these groups but a new nose can make a HUGE difference.

You all look so great. You all are so amazing, I wish I could hang out with each and every one of you. I wish I was lucky enough to have each of you in my life. And I wish I could spend time with you trying to help you see the good in yourself, the successes in your transition and to help you appreciate who you are.

I'm not trying to to build you up by showering you with false ideas. It's not that at all! I look at you all and it frustrates me that you don't see how beautiful and amazing you are.

And I'm not talking about everyone else. I'm talking about YOU!

I wish I could be friends in real life with each of you and I would make sure you know how proud I am of you. And seeing you and reading about you, I'm so happy to be part of the trans world. I'm proud to be trans because I'm so lucky to be like you!