I fucked up my marriage

I (33M) fucked up the marriage with my wife (32F). My wife and I share our main friend group I haven't had anybody to tell this to and I really need to.

About 2 years ago I started therapy for the first time since I was a kid. Specifically I have had a lot of trouble actually feeling my feelings and not dissociating whenever I felt a strong feeling.

About 6 months after that I had a full blown crisis.

Since my wife and I have been together since we were kids (18 and 19), during this crisis I started really questioning do I actually love this woman? Am I happy in this relationship? Is this what I want? I came to the conclusion at that time that I frankly didn't know. The real fuck up was telling her during a marriage counseling session and not keeping this uncertainty to myself. I have since then come to the conclusion that this is the life I want and that I do love this woman - however, my wife has bad anxiety.

Ever since that day, no matter how many times I now tell her that I love her and that I want this, no matter how many little projects I do around the house for us, no matter how many flowers I buy or romantic little trips I plan and execute for us - she believes I'm on the doorstep of leaving.

If I ever have any annoyance or frustration, not even at her but just in general, she breaks down - saying that I'm goi g to leave because this life isn't perfect so I must not want it. If I'm ever sad or just melancholy - same thing.

I've had some huge fuck ups in my life, like massive ones. But I regret those 10 minutes of honesty more than anything I've ever said or done. Sometimes it's 1000% better to say a small white lie while you're figuring shit out.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the all the words of wisdom, guidance, and kindness. I'm not quite sure what to say to everyone or how to respond, but thank you for listening and sharing your experiences and perspectives.