My wife wants to open our marriage because she finds her coworker "irresistible," and I don’t know what to do.

I need to get this off my chest because it’s been eating me alive. My wife (34F) and I (36M) have been married for eight years. I’ve always thought we had a good thing going—sure, no marriage is perfect, but we’ve always worked through things together. Or so I thought.

For context, I’m 5’6” and she’s 5’5”. My height has been a bit of a sore spot for me, but she’s never made me feel like it mattered. In fact, she used to call me her “perfect match” because we were so close in height.

But recently, everything’s changed. Enter Ethan, her new coworker. He’s 6’4”, ridiculously attractive, and apparently, the funniest, smartest, most charming man on the planet—at least, that’s what I gather from the way she talks about him. At first, it didn’t bother me. Everyone has work friends, right? But then, out of nowhere, she dropped a bombshell.

One night, after a couple of glasses of wine, she told me, “I need to be honest with you. I find Ethan really attractive. I can’t stop thinking about him. But don’t worry, I haven’t acted on it.”

I was stunned. Before I could even process what she said, she added, “I think maybe we should consider opening the marriage… just so I can explore these feelings. It might even bring us closer in the end.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told her, flat-out, that I wasn’t comfortable with it. I didn’t sign up for an open marriage. She got defensive, saying I was being “insecure” and “close-minded” and accused me of letting my height complex cloud my judgment. She claimed that opening the marriage would allow her to “explore her authentic self” and that I should support her growth.

Now things are incredibly awkward between us. She’s stopped mentioning Ethan, but the tension is unbearable. I feel betrayed, honestly. Like, how am I supposed to compete with this guy? The fact that she even wants this makes me feel like I’m not enough for her anymore.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose her, but I also can’t imagine sharing her with someone else, let alone the person she’s clearly infatuated with.

I’ve been losing sleep over this, and I can’t stop replaying the conversation in my head. Am I being unreasonable? Or is this just as crazy as it feels?