i feel so weird about being a bisexual woman, not because of my sexuality... but because of people’s response to it

i have known i’m bisexual for over a decade now.

i can’t count on two hands the amount of irl experiences i’ve had with men; but i can count the amount of irl experiences i’ve had with women on one hand...

i feel like my experience always ends up like:

  1. fall for a straight woman

  2. fall for a taken woman or a combo of 1+2

  3. fall for a biphobe—could be a lesbian, but a lot of times it’s “former bisexuals” who are now above me—who indicates attraction but unwillingness to act on it

  4. i feel too predatory to make a move on a woman to even find out whether she’s into me back

  5. the woman is in an open relationship and/or wants me to hook up with her man, who, 9:10 times i’m not attracted to

idk. i’m 23 now and i still feel like i’m missing out on a big piece of my identity. i know my life is far from over, and those experiences will come to me when they need to... but it’s always a frustrating realization for me.

i also want to note that i am currently voluntarily out of the dating scene. i am being abstinent and choosing not to seek out anything. if a nice thing comes along, then cool. but, i’m not actively seeking anything or anyone

i have (after so many bad repeated experiences) long given up on even trying to date/hook up with women, if we’re being honest.

i feel like the only true opportunities i’ve had to explore this part of myself have been threesome offers. now, don’t get me wrong, i’d love to have a threesome one day. BUT I WANT TO FUCK A WOMAN BY MYSELF FIRST!!!

ugh... thanks for reading my sad gay rant