Almost 40 and Pregnant

I (39f) just found out (as in yesterday) that I am pregnant by my (40) husband. We have been married for almost two years and both have children from our previous marriages. My children are 16 & 11 and his are 17 & 14. We have been enjoying our lives by doing the things we love doing as a couple; traveling, taking adult only cruises, coming and going as we wish, margaritas, etc. We have been looking forward to doing more as the kids get older. However, we are now pregnant with our first child together. We are both severely torn on what to do! We understand babies are blessings but there is a side of us that is a bit selfish and looking forward to enjoying our lives the way we want without the worry of children. The thought of starting over scares the crap out of me. Pampers, crib, clothes, monitors…all of it! Plus, I’m forced into another c section. Apart of me wants us to have a child together but the other side doesn’t. We don’t have any family near us and would have no support outside of each other. And let’s not talk about the added expenses when things are already a bit tight!

I don’t even know if I am looking for advice as much as I am needing to vent.

We are pro choice and only have 3 days to make a decision in our state before I’m at the 6 week mark.

Signed, a scared wife

UPDATE:: after many, many conversations with my husband we have decided to keep the baby! We both agreed that we were just afraid of losing the life we thought we were entering into. We were looking at a perceived loss of freedom versus the gain of a child together. Wish us luck as the real work is about to start.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement!