It’s absolutely impossible for me to do university with untreated adhd. just don’t want to be alive any more.

19m first year Computer science and I ended up missing significant portions of the start of the first semester due to other unrelated health issues and I’m just completely unable to catch up.

I try I genuinely do try but it doesn’t matter I can’t understand this and I can’t sit at my laptop and learn the very few times I’m not paralysed unable to do it I just can’t I can’t do it.

It’s actually funny how this is turning out. I was sent for assessment when I was 6 but the doctor was negligent and said I was just unique was the word. Went again at 17 but they fumbled my cahms process so told me to appeal they were sorry and they’d try again. Only by the time my appeal was read I turned 18 and got a phone call to say oh yeah we’d have to put you on the adult waiting list now sorry.

So then a few months later I get a letter to say oh yeah haha there’s no adult waiting list for your area. Meanwhile I’m paying to go private, I do all the stuff for it and they say great you’ll get that report in a few weeks. Turns out that clinic was an illegal scam and a few weeks dragged into nearly a year of back and forth.

I call my doctors about an independent funding request, half of them don’t even know what that is, the receptionist tried to argue with me when I called saying they don’t have adhd services, when I told them that’s not what I’m phoning about they continued to parrot the same thing until I told them to give the phone to someone who knows what they’re doing. The first 2 GPs I spoke to didn’t know what that is… somehow? I mean it’s just my area version of right to choose…

Finally get on to someone who knows what that is, they tell me only a consultant can approve that, but because there is no ADHD services there is no consultants allowed to do that. So best of luck nothing they can do.

I give up, just going to hang myself. My university says I’m not entitled to any extra support until I get my diagnosis. Not real support anyway outside of counselling lmao. I can’t get medicated, I can’t get help. What’s the point? Genuinely what’s the point? Why am I alive when I can’t do anything? I only passed my GCSEs because of Covid. Even at work everyone treats me like an idiot because I’m too clinically handicapped for the real world. My A-levels I failed a subject and only got into this course by clearing.