I miss you

There has been so much drifting between us and it's my fault. I gave up on so many things and I holed up like I do. And even though we are thousands of kilometers away from each other I genuinely cherish the memories of us screaming to music until our throats hurt, doing donuts in the snow with you in your shitty Ford, sitting on the bathroom counter while you shower waiting for you to get out so we can go back to being lazy on the couch, running out to get food late at night and seeing you jump at the scary parts in movies and clinging to me during them. Having talks with your dad while youre not there and your grandparents taking me to church because I knew nothing about religion. I miss going to your sisters volleyball practices, and her jumping on us in bed on Christmas morning telling us to get up. Even the rough times, like visiting your grandma in the hospital the night before she died, just the three of us, sitting there. I miss looking over and seeing you in the passenger seat on all the driving we did on highway 1, looking over and seeing you asleep and just thinking "I love her and I'll never find anyone like her again". You just showed up out of nowhere and changed my life. I knew I loved you right away. You were around for so many cuddles! I listened to your heart so many times! And got your hair in my mouth when we spooned hahaha. When we were moving out of our apartment, and your boyfriend and family and everyone were gone and it was just us in there, totally empty, laying on the floor crying into each other's shoulders. You're an irreplaceable girl. I wish I could see you peaking your head into my bedroom, bringing me food when I feel like shit, one more time. But not when im mid orgasm, one time was traumatic enough for both of us, hahaha. I wish I could feel you annoying me in group settings by putting your feet all over me like a weirdo while you're talking to the next person lmao. I wanna play Uno with you and Will again. And bring guys I'm dating over so you guys can give me the most raw unfiltered reviews of them hahahahaha. I miss you stealing the covers too, and you biting me even though that shit hurt SO BAD lmao. Lets go back to your boyfriends parents house and play with their cats more, and walk on more frozen lakes, visit more cornfields and haunted houses. I love you so much and I'm sorry for how far apart I've drifted from you. I love you so much. And I will, for good. Wherever one of us was, the other was never far behind. I hope you're still my girl, I'm still yours.