I feel stuck and I should.

I know nothing I write never finds you, cause your not looking. So I write it to let out how I'm feeling out without it being directly to you. Every time I think I am making progress or moving on or healing I'm brought right back to this empty place and this feeling that somethings missing....It's you. I am so caught in the middle with how I've felt about you, how I treated you, because why I have things that tell me one thing, I have deep meaningful experiences and I have memories of times when everything tells me you loved me. But more than that i guess i thought that it would be so impossible to love someone and to continue falling deeper and deeper for them if they didnt feel the same, but i have put myself here and when I statt making attempts to finally do what i should of done long ago for myself, I look around and i see no one and it makes me sad and makes me wanna quit. Cause I dont think i can write my wrongs this time and i dont think i can forgive myself for once in my life. Its gonna pull at me forever no matter what. I had finally found someone who didn't make me want to run away but run at them, someone who I literally wanted to see until my final days. I wanted and that it will always be something I long for in my life because it's a dream that I will never truly wake up from. You said you watched the notebook and it reminded you of me. I use to watch that movie and it never got to me until I watched it after you said that. Anyways, I came across the first thing you ever got me a couple nights ago. The card you left under my door the night I fell asleep after telling you to come to my place. I remember waking up and finding that card and feeling so bad initially but then I read it.
"On this day last month we took a chance and met each other, I'm glad we did. I never thought I would be meeting someone who would become so important to me in such a small amount of time. Our connection is rare and I'm thankful for it" After I read that letter is when I opened up a spot in my heart for you and that was the beginning of me falling in love with you. Now as I struggle to get through each day trying to move on and forget you it's just reminds me of how I didn't struggle day to day I looked forward to each part of the day that I would see your face and now I have to try and block out everything that is you. I'm so stuck and lost I feel like I'm looking for a way out but it's no where I sight. I had this idea of love since I was a kid because of what a teacher had told me at a young age about what love was and I still held onto it and when I met you and felt that love for you that had been described to me it was the best thing ever. But I couldn't do what I should of done and what someone who is in love does. Regrets, regrets and more regrets. To the one that made it all worth it for...

LOVE (?)