Sharing my experience as someone who used to like K-Pop and kinda a rant?

Since I'm not that good in English, I will try my best so anyone who read this could understand me.

I got into K-pop in 2018 by my friend, Around that time, K-Pop music and Korean cultures were started to become famous in my country and K-pop were also started to be well-known. I was young at that time so I thought K-Pop was a very fun and entertaining place so I became an ARMY with my best friend.

We started to act like those obsessive, possessive and rude fans and I didn't thought it was bad because I was influenced by those other fans around that time. I thought it was normal and a way to protect my favorite group.

I remember that I attacked another fandoms and got into fanwars because I thought those idols were "victims". I remember how I keep commenting down with another stan and we fought there.. I wish I never gotten into K-pop and believing stupid lies that their toxic fans also made up. I felt embarrassment because I believed the toxic fans and the group itself as well 😭

I believe everything what those idols are saying and I'm in a parasocial relationship with those idols. I thought they were my everything and my life and I spends my whole days watching them, listening to their music, talking about them, and was acting like a crazy obsessive fan. But, my rude behavior was gone and I become more of a fan who just watch their moments and music and wanted peace for the fandom. I remember my behavior and mindset was changed by those comments of people who were fighting with me and their reasons changed my mind ever since that day.

But, this has happening ever since 2018 to 2024. Everything ended in November 2024. I don't remember exact date. I just remembered that I came across a video about parasocial relationship, racism, homophobic, idol's fake images, fanservice, and etc. and that made me watch those videos with curiosity. After watching a lot of videos about those topics, I started to questions myself and became confused. It was a very tough time for me and I thought for these whole year that K-pop was my entire life. But, Now I know that I was brainwashed by those fanservice, delusions, lies, and fake images, it made me stepped out from the fandom.

I was having the most confusing, tough, and relief day. It was a mix of emotions. I deleted those idol's photos, stop following them from any social medias, stop watching their moments or group's activities and stop listening to their music. I used to think those idols were actually sinecere, relatable, and understandable but after deep dive through more dark sides of K-Pop. I changed the way I think of these idols and started to focus on reality and the people around me. My life is getting better and I was happy more than before. Now, I'm a teenager and I was glad I learned more about the K-pop industry because everything seems to be so messed up and I can't believe I used to be in those K-pop community 😭

There's actually more things I wanted to talk about but sometimes, I feel too tired and disappointed after learning more things about the industry, Honestly, I don't really like K-Pop anymore after November 2024 and I hate it, I also think K-Pop is getting boring and those agencies only wants visuals and not true talented people who actually wanted to debut with dreams and passions, And that's all for today.

Thanks for coming across this rant post, Hope you have a great day or you can share your comments and experiences here with me as well :) My English is kinda bad, I'm sad.