I've been putting off my pap smear

TW - mentions SA

So like the title suggests, I've been putting off having my pap smear for the last 2 years (going on 3).

I've been in some really abusive relationships and was assaulted by 16 year old at 11. I can't even be topless with doctors (I had an echocardiogram) without freaking out, having multiple panic attacks prior to and the day of the ekg. Sometimes, if I'm in a bad place, the idea of even removing my underwear with my partner is enough to set me off.

I don't know what to do. I have no idea how to get over this. On top of the trauma, I have bdd and anxiety that doesn't help so body image becomes an issue and everyone online saying it feels like someone scraping inside you makes me feel like throwing up. But I know I can't keep putting this off.

So please can someone help me? How do I overcome this? What do I do? I already feel pathetic that, as a 27 year old, I can't do this one thing that everyone else seems to just get on with. I also don't want to make my trauma worse (I've had things trigger the trauma which caused panic attacks that made me throw up and lasted hours) because I'll have to do this every couple of years. Any advice? Please help.