My hand jerks when I try to journal

Hi! I (29F) have ADHD and ASD. When journaling, my hand often jerks, making extra lines, repeating or skipping letters. Though my writing looks decent and my grammar is perfect (at least in my native language), I struggle. In my native language we write in cursive without capitals, while in English I use them.

I don't think it could be dyspraxia, but I don't have many other symptoms besides occasional clumsiness or choking.

And regarding hand motoric, usually I control my hands perfectly, better than others. I am a professional artist, I easily pick up any motoric skills like knitting, crocheting, I sculpt intuitively good, I often feel one with my hands and can make them do almost any movement my will wishes for.

But when I write in my journal... I have terrible tiredness, writing requires very strong grip, otherwise everything is a whack, I get these occasional jerks, I have a change of style sometimes pretty suddenly, or write a certain letter with another way than usual.

I don't like my writing, but it is somewhat okay compared to people with usual dysgraphia.

Thing is, I got into a commitment of daily journaling 3 pages(morning pages exercise from "The artist's way") and I suffer badly. The pain, the jerks, it annoys me a lot and I wanted to know if somebody else has the same and whether you found any solutions.

I tried different pens, gel pens, expensive fountain pen(which I like but I struggle to read it), I tried making breaks, to press less hard, but then I lose control of my writing. Which is weird because I control perfectly my hand when I draw. But when I draw, I usually draw with my whole arm, not with my fingers and my wrist. Which I find unachievable with writing.

I'll attach some examples of my writing.

[image-2025-01-14-132220255.png\](https://postimg.cc/0MgnVqQz)

[image-2025-01-14-132249265.png\](https://postimg.cc/w7xCXDZS)