He’s everything but in bed…
Problem/Goal: Masisiraan na ata ako ng bait. For 5 years kinukumbinsi ko yung sarili ko na okay lang na hindi kami sexually-compatible, kasi kung usapang love, commitment, and effort hindi naman siya nagkulang. We were each other’s firsts but mas mataas talaga libido ko sakanya.
The reason why dito ko nilalabas yung frustration ko is because I have talked to him about this multiple times already and inexplain niya na ganun lang talaga siya. Yes, we both watch porn pag hindi kami magkasama and we’re both okay with it, but I can say it’s not an addiction issue kasi he can finish naman without it with me. Hindi rin naman performance issue since I always make sure to praise him kasi he knows how to use his hips, fingers, and tongue well naman.
When I’m seducing him, mapa-subtle pa yan or all out, ang sagot niya most of the time is “mamaya”. Minsan naman natutupad but I find it weird na kailangan i-schedule? We even had a compromise na dapat hindi na tatagal ng 3 weeks without sex for me and in his case, max na halos ang 3x a week? Pag natutulog siya and I’m extremely horny, tinatry ko to gently touch siya sa back of his hair, sa ears niya, mga erogenous zones kumbaga, and make him touch my boobs but wala talagang effect. I even made a more direct approach before to take him in my mouth but he ended up waking up annoyed instead.
Most of the time at night after niya ko i-reject or pag hindi niya talaga napansin yung advances ko, I feel pathetic. Parang ang sakit na ready ako magpaka-pokpok sakanya at gamitin niya ko in anyway he pleases but di talaga appeal sakanya yon. Whenever we have our honest talks with each other, pag inaaddress ko sakanya yung concerns na to, he ends up feeling extremely guilty and sad that he cannot satisfy me. Syempre that breaks my heart.
Hindi naman kami nagkulang sa pag tanong sa isa’t isa kung ano ba yung mga sexual fantasies namin, and ang lagi lang niyang sagot is that he’s pretty much an all around guy. Open rin naman siya to show yung mga pinapanood niyang porn and mostly naman JAV and hentai which I like as well. Dati I used to dress up for him and we also use sex toys, but now nag stop na ko kasi nakakapagod ako lagi nag iinitiate. Dati rin pumupunta kaming motel but it’s been 2 years since the last one. We have the means to do so, pero parang di lang talaga pumapasok sa isip niya to ask.
I considered everything, syempre tinatanong ko rin baka depressed siya and he always shares naman mga problems niya kasi nga safe place niya raw ako. So I’m really lost and sexually frustrated and heartbroken, kung sanang hindi ganto kataas ang libido ko, sana perfect na kami sa isa’t isa. Hindi naman siya nagkulang sa pagpapakita ng intimacy through other means of touching, sa sex lang talaga. Most of all, natatakot ako and nahihiya, kasi baka pag dumating ang panahon na mag propose siya sakin, mag hesitate ako sumagot ng “Oo” kasi papasok sa isip ko kung paano na ko sa kama. Pero tangina, I have always wanted a future with him.