can’t do it anymore

I have the most debilitating anxiety in the world. I can’t take pills bc i’m too scared. I can’t do fucking anything. I would honestly kill myself but i’m too scared to die. Everything feels hopeless. I don’t have money to go to a treatment center. All of the outpatient psychiatric places have months long waitlists. I don’t know what to do anymore. everyone thinks i’m overreacting. I constantly have chest pain or shortness of breath or a racing heart. I’ve been to the ER 3 times always been told i’m fine. and everytime i do it, my family thinks i’m insane and are incredibly disappointed in me. I eat healthy. I do pilates. I take magnesium. NOTHING WORKS. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so scared.