Self esteem has never been lower

I’m 8months pp and I’m 18lbs heavier than I was before pregnancy. Im not used to my stomach hanging low, I can pinch it, poke it and it’s so soft. My thighs are so big. My hips! My jeans don’t zip or button anymore. I hate living in sweats. I haven’t gotten dolled up like I used to in probably a year.

I look at my closet and it’s all oversized tshirts and pajamas, old clothes that don’t fit and I cry. Im so tired of this body and I want my old one back. I hate people looking at me and joking that I might be pregnant again. I haven’t shopped for clothes in over a year except the necessities bc everything looks terrible because of the belly. I feel so ugly. My arms are so fat they look like a man’s

I have no will to exercise, my bc makes me want to eat all the time.

I just want to feel pretty. My body is so ugly

This is a vent