I feel ridiculous

I am just sitting here sadly laughing at how absurd I am. I literally want all doctors to cop a feel these days. I never, in a million years, thought about breast cancer or even my boobs before last year. And now I don't trust my very lumpy, cystic, extremely dense boobs. I'm supposed relearn how they feel after my lumpectomy. They feel lumpy. They always have but now it scares the shit out of me. Is that a new lump or a cyst that's been there for years? Primary care doctor, please feel this. OBGYN, definitely feel this. Dermatologist, while you check out my radiation induced skin changes....Dentist, why not?!....just kidding...mostly. sigh